A love-hate relationship: racing and me

This is a bike racing intensive post, so if you don't care, feel free to skip it.
I did Mason 2 on Saturday, and it was definitely a learning experience. I'm really not used to having teammates let alone 6 or 7. We had a plan, and it didn't necessarily work how everyone wanted it to, but the right people ended up in the right place anyway. It's kind of stressing me out because some people take this bike racing thing way more seriously than I do. I enjoy being competitive, and I enjoy being on my bike, but truthfully >50% of my racing enjoyment comes from the social aspect of it. I have a tough time separating my off the bike friendliness from racing competitiveness; really, I just want to chat half the time. It kind of makes me wish I could have just stayed a cat 4, but I do enjoy actually racing with people I can more inherently trust, skill-wise, at least.
There are certain negative elements that have always bigged me about racing, regardless of the team. The things that have gotten and are getting me down about bike racing and further make me understand why some people have to take a year or two off occasionally:

• Cattiness - both pre-, post-, and while racing (especially in regard to unintentional/rookie mistakes people made during a race)
  
• Negativity toward any new changes in racing (Don't even let me get started on some of the stuff I've heard about the cat 3 series. Can't people even try to be supportive of this developmental experiment? I personally think it is very positive in terms of rider development and not scaring people away.)
• Racing against someone versus racing for someone (I know it's somewhat integral to racing, but it drives me nuts. If you have GC leader or something, ride for them, not against everyone else.)

Part of the problem right now is certainly my lack of knowing what to do with a team. I tend to over-analyze every situation, and while this is can work fine when I'm the only one there, it doesn't work when people are depending upon me and I'm not communicating my thoughts. But some people tend to have much more of an action-type attitude. And I've found it's hard to communicate my problems with more of the action-people, as there's some fundamental disconnect. This is a huge generalization and likely more a continuum, but I think that there are the "jocks" who can just act and there are the, I don't know, "chess players," who need to analyze and make a decision. I don't mean to imply that either of these groups is actually smarter or better than the other, just different approaches which can certainly compliment each other if done properly. I fit soundly in the latter category, with a huge smattering of empathetic feelings thrown in on top just to make me feel bad about some tactical decisions. So, while a lot of the "jocks" can talk about how this or that (visualization, feeling like you know you should win, etc.) really helped them out, I think the "chess players" really need a couple game plans, time, and something concrete to know what to do. At least I know I do. Again, I'm not saying that some strategies don't help, like setting goals or pre-race visualizations, but sometimes they just feel a little too, um, touchy-feely or almost faith-based for me to really get into it. I need to hear, "you should do this specific thing when this other thing happens," or "we'll start by doing this, and if that doesn't work, we can re-evaluate."
Maybe I just need to relax and just stop thinking sometimes, but it's certainly going to take time for me to get to that point. It seems like a steep learning curve to go from being fairly solo as a successful cat 4 to being part of a much larger team as a middle-of-the-pack cat 3.